For the larger part of my life I chased money. If you had of asked anyone who knew me what I was all about, it’s a pretty safe bet they would have said “MONEY”. When I wasn’t working in my job I was either learning how to make more of it, multiply it and spending it. Seldom dare I say ‘managing’ it.
as a little girl I developed the belief that money bought happiness
Coming from parents who always struggled and a less than savory home environment I as a child connected the ‘happy kids’ reason for happiness to their parents being well off. This is when my first real disconnect and ill perception of money was born.
I never really considered that I was unhappy because my dad had grown up problems that a child would never understand. I as a child thought that all his issues came from a lack of money, because that’s all I ever heard.
It’s funny how as we grow, once we have come to ‘believe’ something we seldom question it as it is so ingrained in to our psyche.
To be honest, losing everything I owned was the very best thing that ever happened to me. “Kat are you freakin crazy?!” you may ask, ok so the stress of it all ruined my skin and probably aged me 10 years, but the me who has emerged out the other side of it is the happiest me I have ever known.
It wasn’t until I lost everything that I was forced to see the truth of who I was. A little girl who tried to be so together as a grown up on the outside but was desperately sad and hurting on the inside.
Never feeling good enough
too fat…
too ugly…
too stupid…
seeking confirmation that I was actually ok.
I lived in fear of judgement.
Losing everything forced me to find myself.
It wasn’t an overnight process and I am still working through things but I know I can handle it now and I know how to move through tough times quickly!
Once I learned to be happy without money, happy within myself and who I am the money just started to come. My mentors told me this is how it would work but it took quite a while to actually eventuate.
“I always thought money bought happiness – I was so wrong”
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying being broke is awesome, hell no – far from it!
The day I stood on the steps of the Welfare office holding on to my 6 week old baby girl was one of the most humiliating days of my life, I’m crying just typing it, the experience rocked my soul on a cellular level.
When I was 16 I stood in this same office with my Mum applying for student assistance. As I looked around at the guys up the back swapping pot and a pipe and the people looking so down and hopeless I looked my Mum in the eye and said with the most amount of commitment and conviction “Mum I will never ever ever step foot back in this place again for the rest of my life!” and I meant it – she looked relieved.
So to find myself here again after accomplishing so much in my 20s was completely heart breaking.
Let me paint the picture, less than 6 months earlier I:
– had savings in the bank
– owned an awesome car outright
– owned an acre of land outright
– had shares
– a partnership in the company I ran and
– had an investment property.
I was 27 and we’d accomplished that on virtually minimum wages.
After doing so well for myself and working so hard landing in this situation was the ultimate humiliation. My actual turning point came on a day my daughter was sick. I went to buy her medicine and I was broke. I was like $1.20 short. I sat in my car and bawled my eyes out. I just couldn’t understand how it had come to this.
So when I tell you, I know what it’s like to be broke and down and depressed and feeling like the biggest fucking failure – I speak to you from my heart – from my journey and from the other side.
because of the work I do – I get to be with my daughter and that for me is PRICELESS and what I set out to accomplish 10 years ago.
I changed my mind and I changed my life.
I am now typing this listening to the ocean from my back porch.
I love my home.
I am the happiest I have ever been.
I don’t own my home, I’m renting it – but the fact that I can even afford this luxury as a single mum in itself is a blessing.
I am thankful! I am grateful and I am blessed.
I do want to own my own home again someday soon, on Sunday I held Jessee’s hand and walked her through display homes and I told her “mummy’s going to buy us a house” and felt that same sense of conviction, drive and certainty I had felt all those years ago in the welfare office with my mum – I stepped in to each and every one of those homes as if it were mine, I got the feeling of “this is what I am doing” and did it from a place of now. On a few occasions “how will I ever do this all on my own” entered my mind and I changed my mind.
I replaced the thought with:
Of course I can, I make money easily… which is the truth
I have owned properties before I know what to do now – it’s only a matter of time
What you have to do when you get a negative belief is knock the legs out from under it. You have to replace it with statements that you know to be true.
So for me this is bringing back the truth of what I already know I can accomplish.
When it comes I don’t care. I’m not the materialistic person I used to be. All that matters to me now is that we are happy and we are together. I don’t need a yacht, a mansion or a private jet – my daughter is my world and as long as we are together living well and happy – that to me is PRICELESS and if I wanted the mansion and the yacht, her and I being together would not be my reality right now.
Pick your battles wisely and really consider what’s the most important to you.
What I have learned from losing it all and arriving here to the best point of my life so far:
1. Gratitude: be grateful for all that you have and NEVER whine about what you don’t have. You have to release the pain of not having or being where you want to be in the future from the here and now and be grateful for everything that you DO have.
2. Small steps – if you want ‘better’ remind yourself that it comes with the small steps – not the leaps and bounds – it’s doing the small thing’s well that will ultimately make the biggest difference.
3. Be careful what you wish for because you’re gonna get it.
4. Protect your assets and your income
5. Have ulterior income streams in place
6. Don’t spend what you don’t have – chop up the credit cards and become accustomed to living within your means. If you don’t have it don’t spend it. I promise you – only allowing yourself to spend money that you have will motivate you to making more money – it’s there for us – we just have to learn how to tap in to it.
7. Save like a mo fo’.
8. Invest your money in to thing’s that will make more money instead of wasting it on non essential things that have you living like a rock star on a paupers budget.
9. Never ever spend based on money you ‘think’ you will have. I have seen so many people fall flat on their ass doing this. When you have the money spend it – but don’t spend an imaginary amount of money that you haven’t yet received.
10. Be happy now. It’s a choice. Don’t wait for ‘things’ to make you happy. At the core of it all there is only you and living a life you LOVE! This is possible with and without a bucket load of money.
Come to peace with money and I promise you it will multiply. Has this article helped you? Please leave me a comment below.
Great post, Kat. There is so much truth in there that we can all learn something from reading it.
thanks for taking the time to comment Anne I appreciate it 🙂 – glad you like it.
Love it Kat. Sometimes what we know in our heads, takes a longer time to fall into our hearts. And even when we know it, we still find ourselves talking about that ‘thing’ and so we know we haven’t given it up. You’ve done an amazing job getting to where you are…I’ll be seeing you around sista.
god that is so true Megan! Took me FOREVER lol x
GREAT POST KAT!
Love it 🙂 So true every word and the only thing to add is; I know so many mentors/ consultant who try and get people to spend money they don’t have just to buy into a program and it just makes my skin crawl. To be honest I HAVE done it and it makes me feel sick because you do not want people you care about or anyone to be in debt. There are resources around at affordable prices. If you really want to help them then you can create something that you are both happy with.
Me out! YOU ROCK
Rx
totally agree – although – I do have to say – at my lowest point when I could least afford it I spent $2,000 on a coaching program – the coach was great – she did suggest that I possibly shouldn’t spend the money because of my situation and I said to her “I can’t afford to not do this – I have to make money” – the lessons I learned from her made me my first $1k in 2 days of the Women’s Web Marketing launch and have gone on to help me make much more…. so sometimes, a small investment can be helpful also – it really depends on the individual situation.
Fabulous Kat!
Thanks for sharing and being open and authentic xox Really enjoyed reading this
thanks so much for stopping by Trish! So glad you liked it 🙂
Hi Kat – thank you for being real, raw and honest – I know the feeling of writing from the heart with tears streaming down your face. Its the way we know that what we are writing will connect, will provide a mirror for someone else, will show some other gorgeous gal stuck were you once were that she, too, has the shutzpah to get herself out of there too. and this post is one of those true gems…. I salute you honey! 🙂
thanks Kylie, your comment gave me goosebumps! Truly appreciate it 🙂 x
Wow Kat -so much of this resonates with me. I mean SO much! Your advice is spot on-thank you 🙂
pleasure gorgeous girl! xx
Thanks for sharing this Kat. You are one Strong, Awesome Lady!
and so are you! I can’t wait to go through the Accelerate program with you!
Wow! This is one of the best blog posts I have read in awhile. Your honesty and simple – yet powerful suggestions, are amazing. I appreciate how ‘real’ you keep it Kat, it’s just what I needed to hear (read) right now 🙂
More power to you Woman xxx
Kat – obviously the catch of your title got me here to read, but it was these words that hit raw for me – “A little girl who tried to be so together as a grown up on the outside but was desperately sad and hurting on the inside”. I see that little girl inside of me often, lost as to how sometimes I can put her to bed for good. Your article is a not-so-subtle push to do something about this and I truly thank you for that … xxx
Suzanne power to you sista! I am so glad it helped you mwa x
Great post – thanks for sharing and for reminding us that we need to do more than sit and wish for money to just appear! We also need to do our own inner work, know where our money comes from and make decisions on what we are going to do with it!
great insights Kay! thanks for stopping by.
Fabulous read Kat. Reading your first few paragraphs made me think back to my childhood and how I grew up thinking about money. Congratulations on everything you are achieving.
thanks for stopping by Jayne. It’s funny how these things are just ingrained in us! what did you discover when you started to delve?
Kat, what an amazingly raw and truthful article! I found myself relating to so many of the things you said and I thank you for letting it all hang out! Congratulations on all of your success! You deserve it!
thanks Kelly 🙂
I agree with Jayne Day, this article really makes you reflect on what events have brought you too where you are now. You sound wealthier then ever Kat m/
Hey Jody! It’s been one hell of a ride 🙂