For the larger part of my life I chased money. If you had of asked anyone who knew me what I was all about, it’s a pretty safe bet they would have said “MONEY”. When I wasn’t working in my job I was either learning how to make more of it, multiply it and spending it. Seldom dare I say ‘managing’ it.
Coming from parents who always struggled and a less than savory home environment I as a child connected the ‘happy kids’ reason for happiness to their parents being well off. This is when my first real disconnect and ill perception of money was born.
I never really considered that I was unhappy because my dad had grown up problems that a child would never understand. I as a child thought that all his issues came from a lack of money, because that’s all I ever heard.
It’s funny how as we grow, once we have come to ‘believe’ something we seldom question it as it is so ingrained in to our psyche.
To be honest, losing everything I owned was the very best thing that ever happened to me. “Kat are you freakin crazy?!” you may ask, ok so the stress of it all ruined my skin and probably aged me 10 years, but the me who has emerged out the other side of it is the happiest me I have ever known.
It wasn’t until I lost everything that I was forced to see the truth of who I was. A little girl who tried to be so together as a grown up on the outside but was desperately sad and hurting on the inside.
Never feeling good enough
seeking confirmation that I was actually ok.
I lived in fear of judgement.
Losing everything forced me to find myself.
It wasn’t an overnight process and I am still working through things but I know I can handle it now and I know how to move through tough times quickly!
Once I learned to be happy without money, happy within myself and who I am the money just started to come. My mentors told me this is how it would work but it took quite a while to actually eventuate.
“I always thought money bought happiness – I was so wrong”
Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying being broke is awesome, hell no – far from it!
The day I stood on the steps of the Welfare office holding on to my 6 week old baby girl was one of the most humiliating days of my life, I’m crying just typing it, the experience rocked my soul on a cellular level.
When I was 16 I stood in this same office with my Mum applying for student assistance. As I looked around at the guys up the back swapping pot and a pipe and the people looking so down and hopeless I looked my Mum in the eye and said with the most amount of commitment and conviction “Mum I will never ever ever step foot back in this place again for the rest of my life!” and I meant it – she looked relieved.
So to find myself here again after accomplishing so much in my 20s was completely heart breaking.
Let me paint the picture, less than 6 months earlier I:
– had savings in the bank
– owned an awesome car outright
– owned an acre of land outright
– had shares
– a partnership in the company I ran and
– had an investment property.
I was 27 and we’d accomplished that on virtually minimum wages.
After doing so well for myself and working so hard landing in this situation was the ultimate humiliation. My actual turning point came on a day my daughter was sick. I went to buy her medicine and I was broke. I was like $1.20 short. I sat in my car and bawled my eyes out. I just couldn’t understand how it had come to this.
So when I tell you, I know what it’s like to be broke and down and depressed and feeling like the biggest fucking failure – I speak to you from my heart – from my journey and from the other side.
I changed my mind and I changed my life.
I am now typing this listening to the ocean from my back porch.
I love my home.
I am the happiest I have ever been.
I don’t own my home, I’m renting it – but the fact that I can even afford this luxury as a single mum in itself is a blessing.
I am thankful! I am grateful and I am blessed.
I do want to own my own home again someday soon, on Sunday I held Jessee’s hand and walked her through display homes and I told her “mummy’s going to buy us a house” and felt that same sense of conviction, drive and certainty I had felt all those years ago in the welfare office with my mum – I stepped in to each and every one of those homes as if it were mine, I got the feeling of “this is what I am doing” and did it from a place of now. On a few occasions “how will I ever do this all on my own” entered my mind and I changed my mind.
I replaced the thought with:
Of course I can, I make money easily… which is the truth
I have owned properties before I know what to do now – it’s only a matter of time
What you have to do when you get a negative belief is knock the legs out from under it. You have to replace it with statements that you know to be true.
So for me this is bringing back the truth of what I already know I can accomplish.
When it comes I don’t care. I’m not the materialistic person I used to be. All that matters to me now is that we are happy and we are together. I don’t need a yacht, a mansion or a private jet – my daughter is my world and as long as we are together living well and happy – that to me is PRICELESS and if I wanted the mansion and the yacht, her and I being together would not be my reality right now.
Pick your battles wisely and really consider what’s the most important to you.
What I have learned from losing it all and arriving here to the best point of my life so far:
1. Gratitude: be grateful for all that you have and NEVER whine about what you don’t have. You have to release the pain of not having or being where you want to be in the future from the here and now and be grateful for everything that you DO have.
2. Small steps – if you want ‘better’ remind yourself that it comes with the small steps – not the leaps and bounds – it’s doing the small thing’s well that will ultimately make the biggest difference.
3. Be careful what you wish for because you’re gonna get it.
4. Protect your assets and your income
5. Have ulterior income streams in place
6. Don’t spend what you don’t have – chop up the credit cards and become accustomed to living within your means. If you don’t have it don’t spend it. I promise you – only allowing yourself to spend money that you have will motivate you to making more money – it’s there for us – we just have to learn how to tap in to it.
7. Save like a mo fo’.
8. Invest your money in to thing’s that will make more money instead of wasting it on non essential things that have you living like a rock star on a paupers budget.
9. Never ever spend based on money you ‘think’ you will have. I have seen so many people fall flat on their ass doing this. When you have the money spend it – but don’t spend an imaginary amount of money that you haven’t yet received.
10. Be happy now. It’s a choice. Don’t wait for ‘things’ to make you happy. At the core of it all there is only you and living a life you LOVE! This is possible with and without a bucket load of money.
Come to peace with money and I promise you it will multiply. Has this article helped you? Please leave me a comment below.