Tonight a very raw – honest share – because everyone likes to share the wins and successes and pretend that everything is always awesome – even when it’s not and I just want to give others permission to know it’s ok when it’s not ok – and what you can do when it’s not. So this is a lesson from the other side of a bit of a shit storm.
Since Daniels car accident life has been rather chaotic… to say the least… actually all of 2018 has been a bit of a rollercoaster, we’ve almost lost Jess 3 times with accidents, then Dan had the car accident, having a baby turn in to a toddler and getting back in to work…. and now we’ve just found out that our beach shack is going up for sale and so another move is on the cards…. I am trusting it’s all for my highest good …. but it took it’s toll the other night. Being miss positive I’ve just tried to deal with everything on a day by day case by case scenario …. taking my own advice and trusting.
For most part people are like “we don’t know how you’re doing all this and staying so positive” and I really do walk my talk… and have been happy with how I’ve been able to carry myself through these challenges – but the other night it all come to a head and I found myself on the floor hyperventilating and then heaving in to the bathroom sink….
It all just got too much and I was so overwhelmed. In hindsight I feel it was just a big release that had to happen because I’m the glue that holds everyone and everything together…. I’m it…. around the clock for 3 other people.
I melted down, washed it away in a shower and then stepped out feeling ok.
What I realised when I truly felt in to it is that everyday I have been pushing myself to my limits, rushing like a mad woman between all of the daily grind and business tasks and I could feel the stress in my body and I realised that I was carrying the stress around the clock and could feel it in every cell in my body.
So I took myself back to lesson 101 – I only ever have control over myself and my actions – there’s so much in my world externally that I have absolutely zero control of so looked at – what can I control.
I can control my health, I can control my choices.
Long story short, my house has looked like a bomb has hit it all week because I’ve decided to give less of a duck about that and put that time in to prioritising a work out and healthy eating.
I’ve made choices to care for me again…. I made a choice to be conscious and aware of the stress and to let it go…. sometimes we slide in to a low space without even realising it just being so busy being busy!
All of this busy RUSH RUSH RUSH RUSH is unsustainable…. I seriously wasn’t even aware that I was living like that…. until I stopped long enough to feel it!! This is I guess why they say stress kills!
If you resonate with anything I’ve written just give yourself permission to stop and regroup…. and give some time to you… and remember you only have the here and now – stressing about what’s behind and what’s in front is pointless – yesterday is done and tomorrow hasn’t happened and absolutely ANYTHING is possible!